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Can anyone help - might seem trivial but isn't (daughters health) and new to forum

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Does anyone have a Barbie Candy Glam Syling Head (new - bought for daughter by ex's family - found out today)? Daughter has intolerances/allergic reactions (sometimes severe/sometimes minor) to additives (mostly ingested but sometimes to things applied to her skin). Ex/family was given list last January after a severe reaction. Mostly for ingested items as at time it was thought by GP that the reaction was likely from ingested substance. But you would think common sense would prevail given she has always had eczema etc. Clearly not! I have in the past been accused of 'making an unnecessary fuss' despite the GP's advice! Kind of says it all. I could really do with a list of ingredients of the cosmetic items used in this gadget (for making your own lipsalve it seems, no replacement ingredients available so thankfully shortlived I hope but still a risk) before it potentially comes home on Saturday (she is away for visits over Christmas) and asking him would just be a minefield I really could do without going down at the moment (for lots of other more complex reasons - some of which i am sure will make there way to here in coming weeks!). The colours are the worst offenders in terms of reaction but also for cancer causing issues and other matters that don't fit with the homeopathic/green lifestyle we have at home (and he does not have at his house). I have emailed Mattel UK and they rang me within 30 mins today (impressed) but can't do anything until Monday as the 'product team' are out until then and they only have food ingredients to hand not cosmetic. Can anyone help?

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It sounds as if you're as

Submitted by emily on Tue, 2009-01-06 22:16.

It sounds as if you're as allergic to your ex as your daughter is to colouring! I'm afraid I have no ideas what they toy manufacturers put in the barbie head but perhaps testing a bit of it on her before she smears it all over her face is an idea? I'm totally with kate on this that the most importnat thing is to make sure your daughter's allergies are controlled, but not at the expense of making her dad, his family or your daughter feel as if they're poisoning her, or don;t care about her like you do. That's not fair, I'm afriad you don't own the moral highground on this. Play it cool and if she really loves this toy is it so bad if she has a reaction to it - might it be worth it? I don't know, I might be much more relaxed than you and obviously don't know how your daughter reacts - but is this more about you fighting against a lack of control over your ex than about your daughter? You have no influence over your ex's home, he doesn't have to live in the same way as you do, it is not a sign of aggression or disrespect, it's just that now you are seperated you both have influence only over your own homes. Please let it go!

Good luck,

Emily

Oh Dearpresents are always

Submitted by kate on Sat, 2009-01-03 20:47.

Oh Dear

presents are always to be treasured as they make adults and children feel special and valued and this is clearly important for your child.

If you are truly worried when she returns make a fuss say what a great present and then either hide it or change the ingredients to things you are happy with .

I am sure you would not want to make her feel she has been given a present which is harmful / negative it is up to you to make her realise how great it is that she has been given a fab present and then go round the back and make it safe.

Under no circumstances should you and ex be using presents to child as a way of getting at each other

Happy new year

Kate