Kate & Emily

Circles of influence

I think in our heart of hearts, whoever did what to whom, when, why or where, we all know that in order for the children to grow into well rounded adults it is a good idea for them to have a relationship with both mother and father. As the adults we have to encourage it and make it happen. This section of the site is aimed at creating a workable plan for both parents to buy-in to so that this can be achieved.

BUT FIRST, HERE'S SOME CLAPTRAP:

Here are the areas that you and your co-parent should think about and talk about  together, to help you both bring up your children as mum and dad working together.  You can print off a more detailed version to fill in if you click on the attachment 'KATE & EMILY'S CO-PARENTING FORM' at the bottom of this.

Establishing a Code of Conduct with your ex means that rules have been established which will avoid inconsistancy, misunderstanding and hitting each others nuclear button! However, even if your ex doesn't want to play ball and talk about a Code of Conduct, write your own and lead from the front. Your behaviour will influence the way your ex behaves and ensure that you keep your pride intact and don't end up feeling humiliated by your own poor performance. Here are some prompts to help you write your own Code of Conduct.

• Yeah but no but Yeah but no ………YES YOU CAN CAN
• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? kick start that brain in to action now
• Honesty is the best policy, just thinks of the benefits: if you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything!!

I think in our heart of hearts, whoever did what to whom, when, why or where, we all know that in order for the children to grow into well rounded adults it is a good idea for them to have a relationship with both mother and father. As the adults, we have to encourage and make it happen. This section of the site is aimed at creating a workable plan for both parents to buy-in to so that this can be achieved. Things along the lines of ‘If we were able to do this we would not have split up’ etc are claptrap. The truth is that your child is 50% you 50% their other parent there is nothing that will ever alter this. By not doing your best to let the children have some understanding, relationship, love etc of both halves you are likely to undermine the view they have of themselves. However, we know co-parenting’s not an easy thing to do and at times you may find it impossible, but It will be worth it in the end and you can make such a big difference. Just do it!