Articles, Co-Parenting

Get yourself prepared for Christmas by reading our top tips

Do you dread the Christmas conversation that seems to start the minute the summer ends? It always seems to start off as a bit of a joke, but turns into a serious question frighteningly quickly.

For many people the whole festive season can be problematic beyond belief. The dream of a happy family supported by perfect images grinning out from the adverts, coupled with selective memories from our own childhood, can make a horrible mix. Especially when combined with the guilt that our children may not be experiencing the magic, but instead shattered dreams and painful reminders of last year or the past.

( categories: Articles | New Relationships & Families | Co-Parenting | The Children )

Mums and Dads if you do only one thing READ THIS, it may make sense of what co parenting actually is

Co-parenting

I think in our heart of hearts, whoever did what to whom, when, why or where, we all know that in order for the children to grow into well rounded adults it is a good idea for them to have a relationship with both mother and father. As the adults we have to encourage, make and force it to happen.

This section of the site is aimed at creating a workable plan for both parents to buy into so that this can be achieved.

HERE'S SOME CLAPTRAP:

If we can’t function as a couple we can’t do this

If we were able to do this we would not have split up

When my spouse left they gave up the right to be part of this family

( categories: Articles | Co-Parenting )

Why is This so Hard to Put Into Practice?

Here we help you to overcome some of the hurdles to putting this into practice. We know it takes a mammoth effort, and smacks of being far to good to be true. It’s not though, you can have a relationship with your ex that is far from functioning and still get something useful out of doing this’

IDENTIFY PROBLEMS
Clearly what we have explained so far is not rocket science. Hopefully by explaining the rationale behind the thought and showing very clear pay offs for you and your children we have made it something you would like to work towards.

But we have heard time and time again….

( categories: Articles | Co-Parenting )

Visits are important top tips for improving visits and helping them to work

Organise a schedule of who’s going where way in advance and put it up for all to see.

Plan your visits.

Make visits meaningful, with time for parent and children to be alone together to talk etc..

Make sure that visits are not all about entertaining them but about being a parent too e.g. do homework and, for example, as they get older let them bring a friend.

Talk about your child’s life with the other parent, but beware of crossing the line between healthy interest and cross-examination!

Spend some time at hand-over with the other parent to ease transition, preferably to discuss accomplishments or worries that you can both share or work on. If it's still very hard then have another adult present to make sure that everyone behaves like grown-ups and to reduce the tension.

( categories: Articles | Co-Parenting | The Children )

How Parents Treat Each Other

Children love their Mum and Dad, so look at the relationships from their perspective. It really doesn’t matter who did what to whom.

The adjustment of the parents and how they treat each other are amongst the most important factors in how children experience divorce.

The benefits to the children of developing a good co-operative relationship with their other parent can be enormous and the negative effects of not behaving in a civil way far-reaching.

At some level work towards mending or reforming your relationship with the other parent. Remember it is it is vital for fostering good practise at home and for parenting your children.

( categories: Articles | Co-Parenting )

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