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Copping the fallout - he gave up so easily

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So here it is - the kids are starting to get upset now and I am dealing with the questions.......and I am being sooooo calm, amicable, positive, fair all the things I know are right and good for them.

 

In the meantime, I am so angry and resentful - I knew it would be me who copped all of this, whilst he's at his Mums being waited on hand and foot near the family and friends........and we are stuck here waiting to move back to family and friends!

He gave up so easily on us, selfish 'b' and walked away and seems to me that he doesn't really understand what he's done!! I mailed him to give him the heads up on what the kids are asking etc and the reply was just thanks for letting me know!!! Then a quick phone call!

 

I'm reading this back and it doesn't make much sense - aaaaaaargh!!!!!!

 

‹ Hello - I'm new and feel lonely When will my anger, frustration, disbelief, panick, self doubt etc etc subside? ›
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It all makes total sence to

Submitted by kate on Tue, 2009-02-17 08:51.

It all makes total sence to me !!!! It all feels so unfair , you are holding everything together , you are putting the childrens needs at the top of the tree and it doesn't feel as though their other parent is .In fact it feels as this person is getting off scott free and you are making sure everything is as smooth as possible .

I really want to write the next book and call it must try harder , becasues I do think that as a generation we ar epretty selfish and I also know that many many people do regret such decisions , your ex may well wake up one day regretting that he didn't try hard enough , that  he missed out , that he lept into something else and that too turned out to be normal life rather than a dream existance straight out of the cinema.

Any how back to you , if you haven't read our book do because it should have all the support you need to carry on doing what you are doing 

To make sure that over time you work through the failed relationship and yes anger and resentment can be a big part of that , but so can accepting that maybe it wasn't perfect and that actually the relatiochip failed

Finding a method away from the children of working through negative feelings , exercise, therapy , screaming shouting , writing a diary etc etc you don't think you are articlauet but you are so writing it all down may help ( make sure children do not find !)

To keep the relationship with Dad going in a psitive way for the kids , you may think him a poor excuse for a DAd but it is important the children have a postive view of him , feel loved by him and not abandened by him . As we all want to rear happy balanced children this is an important cornerstone . So remeber that you are integrating him and doing it for him not as a favour to him not to help him but to help the children .

When they are grwon up they will know and apprec itae what you have done ad you will be a hero .

Next look after yourself , just done a whole hour seminar on that! and it is important that you remeber this not only for your own energy levelrs , but to stay in charge of your gang. Make sure you get child free time , when he takes control or if not possible , he and his mum ,

Good luck , sorry this is a bit disjointed but hopefully you can work out a way of co parenting if you thrash through that section of the web because it is worth it for the kids , your family and YOU!!

Kate