So you’ve reached the point where you’re ready to date again. You’re feeling good and start chatting to an attractive single member of the opposite sex. Suddenly a small repetitive sound starts in your head. Beginning as a whisper it quickly builds to a roar of “When do I mention the kids? When do I mention the kids? �. Desperate to get rid of it, you ruin the flirtatious mood by almost shouting it out or by becoming so concerned about it you hardly dare say anything at all. The conversation dries up and you leave an impression of socially ineptitude or overwhelming single parenthood.

I chose to leave my son’s father who I’d been with for 5 years, as it was a destructive and negative environment, one which I couldn’t see improving, I borrowed some money and moved out, without any help from him. I began renting a house, increased the hours at my part time job and now I run my house, work part time and successfully look after my two-year-old son, who is a happy well-balanced child. This hard but worthwhile journey made me realise my hidden abilities and helped regain my sense of dignity.

When I became a single parent at 30, I lost my confidence and my self-esteem plummeted, leaving me feeling down trodden and old. It took a lot of time and positive energy to build myself this wonderful life I have now, which has in turn made me more determined not to enter into another relationship without getting to know someone first. I cherish and adore my son so his security and stability will ALWAYS come first. Although I know my happiness is important too, but I am happy and that’s the best thing about the whole situation.

There’s this theory I came across called the Boulder Theory. It sounds very plonky to start with, but I promise you it’ll make sense and grow on you. However, I’m afraid that to understand it you need to start by imagining your romantic life is a mountain: you’ve got steep slopes, rivers, hillocks, crevices, etc; imagine it all! So far so good. The next bit I’m a bit less sure about as I don’t quite get the rationale but just bear with it, accept it, and we can move on to the crux of the theory....

To be a successful love-mountain you need to get as many boulders rolling down your slopes as possible so that they reach the bottom and happily pile up. Now these boulders are really OPPORTUNITIES for romance - clever! So a boulder could be a date, an evening out, going to the golf club, standing at the end of the platform with the train spotters, or parked up outside public lavatories. Now, the more opportunities you have (or boulders rolling down your sides) the more likely you are to build up nice piles at your bottom, and bag yourself a good looking boulder with a GSOH.

Bit of a dress code dilemma – no jeans allowed – according to the online dating tips I am meant to wear peach to compliment my skin tones (isn’t that a bit 80’s bridesmaid?). Here I am standing alone in the middle of the room, as advised by dating tip number two, nervously downing a gin and tonic, head to toe in black, more the widow at a funeral than a divorcee on the pull.

I am woman number 4 at a speed dating event in a Mayfair wine bar. Man number 4 comes to sit opposite me –and we’re off …’What do you do? Where do you live? Is this is your first time’. The conversation gets a bit more exciting just in time for the three minute bell to ring signaling the men to shift to the next number up the line.

Time to dive into the dating game? Feeling rusty and in need of the odd pointer? Here are tips we’ve gleaned from all over the place, we’ve filtered out the ones we wouldn’t dare do (like go on a course to help us attract the perfect partner!!) so here are the ones that we would do, or just made us smile (wait for the bathroom top tip…)

ON INTERNET DATING: