Kate & Emily

Hi

threats of suicide should always be taken seriously ,  who knows if he is saying this to make you feel guilty or if he is genuinley in dispair , when it comes to your children I think that you must take this at face value.

First have a talk to him and tell him you are worried about him , suggest that as he has told you he is feeling suicidal he goes to see his GP who WILL help, is there anyone else close to him that you could share this with who could take over the care of your ex such as his parents , brother? sister ? friend? If so then contact them .  That is what i wouold do first off .

And then until he has setlled , adjusted and no longer feels this way then under no circumstances would I let him have the children on his own. Not often I am that black and white . Black and white i may be , but I would also be cannily gentle about it all

Tell him that you are worried about him and the children and until you can be asbolutly sure that he is not going to do anything stupid then someone else has to be present for everyones sake and it really would be best if it was a family member or even you  but if that is not possibe then it will have to be contact centres

Good luck , I know people do say stupid things like this in the heat of the moment , but however slight the chance you can't run the risk that he is serious and the safety of the children is paramount.

All the best

Kate

ps keep a record of when and where and what he said and any evidence , just in case

Hello

I think that following your intuition regarding the children's safety is what you should do. Could you call social services anonymously and get an experienced worker's advice? They may suggest a contact centre for a while or having a third party present while he sees the children. I hope that your ex will talk to a doctor or someone who can help him move forward positivly. I am sure that this situation is stressful for everyone and I wish you well with it.

Crystal

When someone says they are suicidal, it is vital that you look at the circumstances etc. In this case, you would know best what this means for him. Could it be that he has realised what is at stake here, he has realised the degree of loneliness that he is facing, or wanting you and the children back. Perhaps he is angry and we can all say things that we dont mean. Be honest with him, that someone who says they are suicidal, perhaps having the children on your own would not be a good idea. This is when you will get a true idea of what suicidal means to him. I have however said all of this now knowing the full picture. Perhaps orgainsing a family day out/indoors will help all those concerned.