Kate & Emily

Emily is right talk to people that care about you and know you , though do listen to your own instinct. My instinct is that you should imagine that you will be bringing your baby up as a single mother and if you can get Dad involved then that is great , we believe that Das have a real role to playand is important to children. Seems to me you need a break from your ex as he is just upsetting you . Take control work out yourself what you want to do , how you will bring up your baby and the involvment you want from him when the baby is born and until that time comes I would start to creat a new relationship with him as potential co parents which is all laid out in the co parenting section ,but for you the code of conduct is the most important and the way you behave with him in a civil romanticlaly detached way . But for the remainder of your pregnancy you need some calm and not someone coming around and playing silly beggars with your mind.

All the best

Kate

Hello, I'm not suprised you're feeling confused and in a mess as you've got alot on your plate.  First off, your hormones will be going mad so that will make you feel very emotional etc and then you've got to deal with splitting up with your ex and then get to grips with a future as a single mum.  It's all a lot to deal with!   This  next bit is going to sound so hard of me, but are you having the baby because you're hoping it'll mean you and your ex get back together as you have a child together, or are you having it becuase you want to keep the baby regardless of what the dad thinks?  Be really honest with yourself.  Based on nothing other than what you've told me I'd say it sounds unlikely that the dad will be in your life much becuase he also has 3 other children to share his time around and 2 other ex's to deal with already - and that's before adding you and your child to the mix - that's ALOT for anyone to deal with, and to find the time to be a very active hands-on dad.  I think you need to really think about this becuase you don't have to do it - you are still in the early days of pregnancy and you could have an abortion.  I know there are loads of reasons why people are against abortions and loads of others why they can be a good idea, I'll leave you to decide what's best for you.  My personal view is that you should make sure that you REALLY want to have this child AND that you can manage to bring him / her up on your own (talk to your parents, friends etc about how it might work and how you they can help you bringing your child up) AND that you're happy and able to do that, even if your ex disappears and has nothing to do with you or his baby.  If you know deep down that you don't feel happy about it then talk to your GP about the possibility of an abortion.  Talking to people that love you like family and to a GP should help you work out what to do.  I really wish you lots of luck for the future, Emily