Probably not! Only in America does it cross a child's mind to divorce their parents. The ex is our history, not our childen's. To them, our ex is their Mum or Dad and they will be forever and ever and wherever and whoever they may be. Even unknown Mums and Dads live in their child's imagination, even then they're not an ex-parent. So how are we going to deal with this? The following questions should help to get you thinking about it....

Q1 Write down the advantages to your children of encouraging your ex to be an involved parent

Q2 Write down the advantages to YOU of encouraging your ex to be an involved parent.

OK settle down for a bit of soul searching and thinking back….

The aim of this worksheet is to help you to realise that there’s probably a reason for you and your ex splitting up that pre-dates the nasty breakdown bit. There were most likely bells ringing about your relationship much earlier. Remembering your bells helps you to realise that you knew something was wrong before it ever got nasty. And somehow taking that sort of long view makes the nasty bit feel more like an inevitable consequence that you both helped to get to. You need to stop dwelling on the climax of the breakdown and look at the bigger picture, accepting that you too have to take some responsibility for it. Here goes…