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How to make the break- advice needed.

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I have been married for three years. My husband and I got together in the wake of painful breakups, got engaged within 3 months and were married 6 months later. We have a wonderful 18 month old son. I am no longer in love with my husband and we argue a lot. I feel that my life is over and I am deeply unhappy. I would love to leave, but can't afford to. We own a property which we rent out, but we rent a more expensive property. I work part time and we need both incomes to survive. We talked about separating before but once we looked into renting separate flats etc we realised we just couldn't afford to do it. I'm wondering if anyone else has been in the situation and if they have any advice for me. We live in a fairly expensive area but moved here to be close to my two best friends who live nearby. My husband works a lot and I am often on my own so my friends are a great source of support.

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Hello,  I think I'm going

Submitted by emily on Mon, 2009-07-06 21:21.

Hello,  I think I'm going to sound a bit cold hearted saying this but you either stay and work very hard with your husband to make it a place that ou can both find happiness in (I'm not that much of an idealist to think it'll be roses round the door, but you might be able to find a middle way?), or you leave.  It's impossible to seperate and maintain the same lifestyle in 2 homes, oyu'll have to possibly move to a cheaper area, to something alot smaller, find ways of earning more, sell assets etc, but if you both can't live with each other then you'll find that even the down-sizing is worth it in bucket loads (though not an easy path to follwo so be warned!  Being on your own doesn;t make it all better, it just brings a broken relationship to an end, and then you have to re-invent that relationship and your life so you and your husband can bring up your boy to be a happy, well adjusted child.  I recommend going to see Relate with your husband first of all to explore all the possible things you could consider to make life together OK.  Lots and lots of luck and please hold in there as I'm not convinced you're really ready to split, otherwise you would have as having less money and 2 local best friends wouldn't be enough to keep oyu in the marriage.  Emily