Kate & Emily

TAKING THE STING OUT OF DIVORCE

Joking and light hearted banter aside, divorce is right up there with death in terms of its impact on your emotional well being. There is no quick fix and no easy answer to what is essentially a bereavement and feels like an overwhelming loss and sense of abandonment.

Relationship Breakdown ~ what are the options? This was written for us by Mediation Works

My situation may be different from many as I made the conscience decision to bring up my son in a lone parent house hold. The woman leaving the man, I had to leave the family home, find elsewhere to live etc etc it was all very role reversal. There were no other people involved, it was based purely on the fact that I was deeply deeply unhappy and had to make a positive step to change where my life was heading. I knew my happiness would directly affect my son’s happiness and vise versa. What I found out during this transitional phase in my life and that is exactly what it was when I look back at it now, i morphed into what it was I needed to be and so changed the way i worked, thought, lived and acted to accommodate this new and sometimes overwhelming responsibility in life. I went through an incredibly dark period whilst on that journey and suffered with depression, very low self esteem and my confidence suffered for a while. But I did come out the other side, more positive, a little bruised maybe, a lot lot stronger and with a well balanced child who has two parents who love him dearly. I’m definitely wiser and of course the reason for it all, so much happier in life.

Helping couples to reach agreement - How mediation works when families split

Almost always, problems are best solved when people talk. But, sometimes, you need a helping hand.

When relationships break down emotions run high, and talking face-to-face can seem like the hardest thing to do. Sometimes, you need a hand to help get the talking started and focus on what really matters to you. That’s where mediation comes in.

Mediation is a process to help couples who have decided to separate or divorce to talk things through. Mediators are trained to help you reach agreement about how to make the best arrangements for the future. This may be about the way the children are cared for, or how finances will be organised.

Right let's cut to the chase, we do have friends and we do have family just as I am sure you do. The trouble with them is they are not single parents. To be honest it takes one to know what you are banging on about. My wonderful gang have zippo experience and to be quite honest I think that they get most of their advice etc from a combination of Coronation Street, Woman's Hour and The Daily Mail a worrying combo at the best of times!! There has come a point when you want to shout 'no you don't know, you just think you do. Pete playing golf alot, or travelling with work etc etc etc is not the same.' The freaky part is that we find that many many people feel different and most don't particularly like the feeling. Emilia has done some co ordinating of some of the things people have said to us. As she says ...........