Enough about me lets talk about YOU .....what do you think about me???? !!!! Read this to know that you matter to everyone

You ,toi,ti,dich,………..could be a good line for a song

It is not by chance that the category entitled 'YOU' found its way to the top of the pile. As we have gone about our business it is a constant theme that single parents often feel that they are not really looking after themselves properly. This is usually swiftly followed by 'well I don’t have time, money or energy to anyway', plus a whole raft of other excuses which are used to justify why they might think they should not get the extra effort. Thus exposing a belief that to spend time on themselves is tantamount to skiving!!!!!! Nothing could be further from the truth.

We do not see looking after yourself as a skive; we do not see it as self-indulgent; we do not see it as diverting resource,time, effort or energy away from the children: we see it as vital, and to everyone's benefit in the family. HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?!

Obviously I am not talking about abandoning camp for a holiday in Tenerifey with no more than a couple of ready meals and a fourteen year old babysitter for the kids. But I am talking about thinking of you as an individual and separate from the kids.

We would go so far as to berate those who are not taking adequate care of themselves, and may even go as far to say that if you are not looking after yourself you may not be doing your best for the children; the atmosphere in your home; the happiness of the family, and other extremely upsetting (and some might say unnecessary) phrases to make you realise that you and your life are the key to your success as a single parent.

The very real and positive benefits which may result from a bit of self nurturing may include:

  • A better vibe in your home
  • Reducing your stress levels, which can have such a huge impact on the children and their behaviour
  • The speed at which you move on
  • Encouraging your children to value 'you'. This is a great lesson to teach children
  • You feleing more relaxed with your childrens' other parent
  • Your children feeling able to enjoy their other parent knowing that you are happy
  • Gaining control and purpose
  • Making you happier and more fulfilled and less fearful of the future.
  • Being really harsh, it will make you more appealing to be around not only for friends (old and new), but if a new partner is what you are after then it is vital ……… don’t you think???

    Only you know you, so we have devised a worksheet so that you can work towards looking at the various aspects of your life and getting them into some sort of balance. Have a go at it. It's called 'Do your own MOT' and is in the worksheet section.

    Try and look back to things that maybe were a part of your life in the past whether it was music you no longer listen to, knitting, matchstick models or crafts, theatre or squash. Try and remember how you used to enjoy yourself and see if you can kick start an old habit. Consider things or hobbies you have always wanted to pursue and set some deadlines. If you repeatedly think about starting things and never get round to it consider telling someone your plans and tell them when you're going to do it by. Going public and promising action's a damn fine way of getting off your bottom and doing it!!

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