If so, it could be that a little bit of extra help is needed. Everyone has ups and downs, but there does come a point when you might need a little bit more, especially when a good night's sleep is not helping with your overwhelming feelings of despair.

Do you have feelings of deep despair which, at the back of your mind, you know are out of proportion to your situation?

Are the negative feelings of loss and mourning getting worse as time goes by?

Are you crying a lot?

Are you sleeping badly?

Are you feeling a little unwell and under the weather?

Would you like to talk and understand more and more?

Do you feel as though you have run out of puff from your friends and family and now feel like a burden to them?

Are you going round and round in cirles in your head?

Do you still need to talk excessively about your situation and pick over all the detail to find some answers?

Do you feel as though you are going through the process of accespitng and dealing with your situation slowly etc etc

Do you find your friends and family want to tell you what to do, or worse still burden you with their problems?

Answering 'yes' to a range of these questions might suggest that a little bit of professional help might be an idea. Or it's time to face up to it - realise how these feelings are wearing you out and if you can lift the cloud from your mind by taking stock of how you are mentally and actively kick it by doing so - then Kick It. If you can't do it yourself get help and follow these steps....

STEP 1
Go to see your GP with an open mind. It could be you are showing signs of depression and this can be treated, or he may refer you to a counsellor or therapist.

Talking to a counsellor may help you understand, make sense and help with moving on. The great thing about talking to a cousellor is that they can be someone who has no contact with the rest of your life, with no personal reason for taking sides or having any type of bias at all.

STEP 2
Whatever route you take - medication, counsellor, or simply having one of those light-bulb moments when you realise that these feelings are out of proportion, and are begining to bore you as well as everyone else. it's a very good idea to face up to them and deal with it, so that you can start to enjoy live again.

STEP 3
If talking to someone else will help you then here is some contact information:

In an emergency try the Samaritans

Relate can help people not only to work at a marriage but to separate effectively

To find a theraputic therapist ask for referrals from GP, friends and family.
Check out www.bac.co.uk whose practitioners can be searched, and credentials checked.
Work out how long you would like to see a therapist and the issues you would like to try and cover before contacting them. A good patient therapist is key, so if you don’t click during the initial assessment don’t go back.

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