Questions to help you talk about tricky stuff with the children

Children of any age can find it difficult to talk about how they feel about not living with both their parents. They say it’s ‘fine’ or just don’t raise it but they’re NOT fine, so talk to them and help them tell you. This worksheet gives you an outline of questions you could ask to help you and your children talk.

  • How are you feeling?

    Lots of children can feel sad or angry etc (use whatever adjectives describe how you think your children are feeling) when they don’t live with their daddy / mummy anymore. Does it make you feel like that?

    IF YES: Which bits make you sad / angry etc? Which other bits?

    IF NO: How does it make you feel then? If you don’t know the word can you pretend to be it / draw it / describe it?

  • Do you understand why Mummy and Daddy aren’t together anymore?

    IF YES: What is it you think then? Check their understanding and correct misconceptions like it’s their fault, and make sure that your explanation reassures them that it makes no difference to how you feel about them.

    IF NO: tell them the story again (remember aga appropriate, no dissing the ex and make sure it’s true – however basic an explanation). Always end by reassuring them of how much you love them

  • Cuddle them!
  • What would make you feel better? Sometimes when people miss someone it makes them feel better thinking happy thoughts. What could be your happy thought? Does thinking about when you next see Daddy / Mummy make you feel happier? Or looking at their photo? Or thinking of the nice things you’ve done together?

    Be warned, they’re bound to say that‘you getting back together’ would make them happier (or a new shiny bike, more allowance etc.!) You can explain why that’s not possible; the aim of this conversation is to try and help them by teaching them tricks to manage being sad, angry etc. - not to give in to demands for bikes etc!!

    • ( categories: Worksheets | The Children )