Seeking professional advise is a great idea , and in fact vital when it comes to buying life insurance .
But do remember that once you have died you can control only to a certain extent.
The reality of the situation is that unless your ex has taken out life insurance on your life then he will need money to pay someone to do your job i.e. to look after your child in a good way whilst he works. You want your son to live in a decent house , and you want your son to be fully integrated into his Dads life. The reality of this may be far reaching and expensive . Dad may need to buy a bigger house and so on and so forth .

I am sure you can put all sort of stipulations in your will , tie the money up in knot via the use of trusts etc , but at the end of the day when you talk to the professional be it an IFA or a will advisor just know that you do not want to put so many constraints on the money that it can't be spent on your sons childhood and environment , but sits in a pot waiting for him to grow up.

At the end of the day if you trust Dad enough to look after your son , then surley you trust him enough to manage the money . However as I am writing I am thinking maybe he is a good bloke but hopeless with money , if this the case then express this to a sloicitor maybe trustees and guardians giving out the money on a quarterly basis are the way and large expenditure approved by people appointed by yourself .

Just make sure you have a good chat with yourself and unearth what it is that is really worrying you ... Is it Your ex may profit from your death?, or do you really believe your ex would spend your sons inheritance on himself ......... But surely IF he is to look after your son they both NEED the money don't they ??

Good luck
Kate

My main bit of advice is to ask a financial advisor about life assurance as I can only talk from my own personal experience which might not be the best way for you! However, from what I understand about life assurance how much you need to get cover for depends on if your mortgage needs to be paid off if you die, school fees paid, loans paid off etc.. ie covering any debts that you don't want to leave behind for your children plus, of course, if it needs to pay out money for your son's future. I'd do a bit of internet searching and then call 2 or 3 IFA's (independent financial advisors) to get their advice and quotes. As to wills, and making sure the money's for your son and not funding the life of Reilly for you ex, - I know this is something that gets covered in a will as you can leave your estate to your son and appoint people to look after it for him until he's old enough to inherit(you stipulate how old you want him to be too). Of course your son will live with his Dad in the event of your death but the money wouldn't become your ex's, he'd have to ask the trustess to spend it and reasure them that it's in your son's best interests(which a lambughini and exotic hoildays might be??!!). Please be realisitc though - you will be dead, your ex is your son's father, you'll have to trust that he'll have your son's best interests at heart and and you'll have put things in place to safe guard his inheritance - that's all you can do, so then let it go. Talk to your solicitor or the Will Company's a national organisation that specialises in them and is fairly well priced. I used them and all was OK, but others have preferred to use their own solicitor as they already know them and have a relationship.