My daughters (20 and 23) have just come up with a situation involving their father and his new girlfriend of 9 months for which they are asking my advice, and I in turn, could use some expert advice from you. I came across your website on the internet today.

My daughter's father and I have been divorced for 19 years. He remarried once but lost that wife to cancer 4 years ago. Last February, he began dating a woman in her mid to late 50's that also has 2 grown daughters. Within a few months, he and his girlfriend purchased a home and moved in together. He and I have maintained a fairly good relationship all these years and have attended school
graduations, etc. together. The new partner does not believe that he and I should have any contact or relationship and has voiced some unpleasant opinions over the past few months, but my daughters have continued to visit and usually make the best of the time together. Now that Christmas is here, everything has blown up. Here's the situation; the girls said yes to their dad’s invitation for Christmas day a few months ago, on the understanding that their grandparents and siblings/cousins would all be in attendance, just like the past 19 years. His new partner did not want to entertain his whole family and hence only invited his parents and our daughters.
My children then said that they would enjoy coming up in the morning to open gifts and have brunch, however, their only chance to see the rest of their dad's family for the next 8 months would be for dinner and therefore, they would move on there mid-afternoon. A very nasty phone call ensued last evening, yelling blame and insulting our daughters, claiming selfishness and not 'thinking about 'her'
feelings' - the girlfriend, that is (from both their dad and his new girlfriend). My youngest (21) remained extremely calm and mature - until her dad refused to see the other side and retracted the invitation to come for any part of the day, saying that if
they ‘wouldn't come for dinner, they weren't welcome any part of the day.’ He further stated that he'd 'drop their presents off at the front door' of our home. Needless to say, this has caused a great amount of stress and upset in our home and I'm wondering what your thoughts and/or advice might be. The girls now do not want to go to their dad's, nor do they think it's wise to go visit grandparents, just to avoid any further anger and conflict.

I really appreciate your time and thoughts, thank you.