It certainly does get easier Hayley , your children are still very young , but they will grow up and start Nursery then school and childcare will not be so constant. I think that the way you are feeling is the way many people with small children feel whether they are with a partner or not. But you are on your own and you mut use and cherish the time that you are able to escape and do your own thing really carfully.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES use the 5 hours you get of help from your ex to clean and do housework. Make sure that you sepnd those 5 hours doing things outside the home that you could not do if you had the children. My other top tip is to get really regimented about bed time for both children , bath , story bed really strict Mary Poppins stuff no getting up etc etc and then when they are asleep you can use that time for yourself. They are small and you are limited by what you can practically do so use the next few years to prepare and plan , what do you want to achieve , do you need to do a course , can you do some home learning ? the wonderful world wide web opens up a whole range of opportunities for escape in the evening , or buy a get fit/YOGA DVD. It is hard to get out of a negative frame of mind you may be tired and feel like this is going to go on and on , but it doesn't , everything gets easier but do remember to look after yourself and please please please no more housework in those precious 5 hours you get to YOURSELF

Kate

When you feel 'is this it?' about life then it's definately time to change it! However, changing life is a brave thing to do and needs YOU to make the time to do it and to be prepared to put yourself in situations that you might find a bit uncomfortable to start with, but you're the ONLY person who can make your life less boring, and I bet you're young enough to have alot of life ahead of you. So this is what you do - STOP MOANING. It's a vicous circle - you moan once and another whinge comes out, you let yourself get cross or irritated with the children early in the morning and you won't be able to shift feeling cross and irritated with them all day long because you don't get enough time away from them to calm down. So get yourself in a positive frame of mind and comment on anything good (eg on a sunny day 'lovely weather!', or on a bus coming along quickly 'oh look at that, that's good we'll be early for school!' or on a tasty meal 'that was lovely' etc..) If anyone asks how you are say you're fine and ask about them! Then you have to stop doing chores when the children are with their dad and PLAN something FOR YOU. Exercise? Jogging - could you train for a fun run with a friend so you're raising money and got a target? take yourself swimming or to a class at your local leasure centre? It's true what they say about exercise making you feel better (after you've done it, not during it in my experience!!). You'll still get your jobs done during the rest of the week I promise so don't worry about spending this time on something nice for you. Now this may not be your thing (not really mine, but I can see the upside) but you're free on a sunday so how about church? Time out to think and to meet local people and be part of a community? Get people round to your house in the evening to save on babysitting. It doesn't have to be much - you're cooking for you and the kids anyway, just make a bit more and get another family / friend to join in. I'm going to stop going on now and hope that you've got the general idea that yes things do get better, but only if you make yourself think positively and do something about it yourself - It's up to you Hayley, the world is your oyster - go grab it!! Let me know what you decide to take up doing on a sunday! Good luck Emily