working full time or part time

Dear Kate and Emily - I found out about your book by pure chance -fashion in She magazine it was and thank you finally something that's up beat practical, not american and helpful. I am constantly told don't increase your earning potential you'll get less money - my husband left six months ago - our relationship of 24 years had died out it seems he is now on his second girl firend however despite the fact he thinks he's the perfect one who's left for the children how did he find another woman in two weeks if it was all that "sudden , i can't stand our rows it's all your fault " type reason for leaving??? anyway there is a chance i could increase my hours from part-time to fulltime on a fixed term basis with the opportunity to extend or to return to before and i cna't decide. What's best for the children, financial indepdence sounds great but at what cost of my time with the children or is a trial just so not worht giving up??? My ex stills pays all the bills although my pay is being used for increasing essentials and to run my and the children's lives and keeping it fun he is doing all the right things as far as money and trying to see the kids. So what's the next step or is it a case of you'll know in six months what the right thing was. I like my two days "off" to do gym see friends etc but i'd value the freedom more money would give me to finally live my life and provide for the kids as I would like to not like he would.?? any ideas?

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( categories: Dear Kate & Emily )
I vote for taking up the
Submitted by emily on Tue, 2008-11-11 22:23.

I vote for taking up the full time trial. It's a fixed length of time so if it doesn't work go back part time. You'll never know unless you try it. You'll never know the answer to your questions about whether it's a good idea or not without trying it!

Re arguements with ex, reasons for leaving etc - let them go over your head, don't have them. it's too boring a waste of precious time to be working out if he met his girlfriend suddenly or not, or where the fault lies. Both of you are actually at fault, so just stop those thoughts as they'll bring you down. Instead I recommend changing your life a bit with a full time trial and start to build your own life, maiking your own decisions for you and your new family! Good luck, emily

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to work or not to work full
Submitted by kate on Tue, 2008-11-11 13:53.

to work or not to work full time only you can answer that . If you get the juggle right it can be fantastic , it can help you move on , be a positive role model for your child, can give you financail independance and can keep you in the job market for the rest of your working life which is great as going back to work can be hard. On the other hand you do have to have solid and relaible childcare and be happy that your child is settled and that you have flexibility when things dont go to plan . some kids love the social interaction that nursery gives them and thrive , you can have fabulous times together at the weekend. Only you know what is right for you and your family. the part of your life that may have to go is the gym etc , there are only so many hours in the day but maybe your job would finance a babysitter and you can enjoy those things when your child is asleep. But you need to write an honest list of pros and cons and then decide whether to have a go .

all the best

Kate

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