I think it's decent, honest and respectful to tell your ex any 'big' news like new boyfriends, moving house, new job etc personnaly and when the news is still relatively unknown so that you know he will hear it from the horse's mouth first. It means you can say it how you want to (I agree with Clarkey and Kate - I'd be vague, just letting you know that....) and you can guage his reaction and react accordingly (calmly!) and also know how you should tackle any future conversations about new boyfriend, house move etc. Your new boyfriend has met the children so it's only a matter of time beifre dad hears his name mentioned so you need to be quick. One thing I'd add to bear in mind is that children can not lie - they'll tell it like it is, so there;s no point trying to ease the blow by saying 'he's not met the children yet, it's early days'. You'll need to say he's met them and then I'd not go on too much about how much they like him (hurtful). I think that if someone's to get upset about their ex having a new partner than they'll often focus their upset on the new boyfriend seeing the children and stepping in to the Dad's shoes, so be very kind and sensitive and listen to him if he says he doesn't want the children left on their own with him etc as that's possibly a reasonable request. Good luck, Emily

Hi

Half term has got me a little behind so i shall whizz of my initial thoughts and then hopefully Emily can add more later .

Yes it is still early days for your ex who actually hasn't had that long to adjust , he lives 150 miles away and sess your children once a month . I think it is imperative that you keep at the fore of your mind that you want this to remain . So I think that you need to do huge amoounts of reassuring that he is Dad , he is not being replaced , he will always be dad and you will do everything you can to support his relationship with his children .

I personally would be on the vaque side , just as we always recommend keeping the children one/two steps behind there is no need to incorporate detail into anything you say at this stage. I personally would simply say that I thought I should tell you I am seeing someone , its early days but you just want to reassure him that it will not ever adversly affect his relationship with the children, and leave it at that .

As it is not long since he accepted that his realtionship with you is over , he may be angry , jealous and so on , just remember keep calm and kind.

all the best

Kate

From my point of view (which was in reverse) I was incredibly angry when I found out my ex had been seeing someone and not told me, especially as I had specifically asked him to tell me. Subsequently I have found out he is living with her and that she has 4 children living with them, so I say tell him as soon as you can. I did tell my ex when i got involved in a new relationship and it became serious.
I'd make it a passing remark, if you can rather than a big deal. But a) if you are being honest and truthful he has no comeback and b) it isn't going to get any easier for either of you if you leave it any longer.
Good luck