Come on where's your pride? We all knwo this is a horrid, low and destructive way to behave. It's hard not to, so reading this might just give elp you to get a grip of your moral fibre and rise above such skullduggery (if that's how you spell it?!)
HOW CHILDREN ARE USED AS AMMUNITION
Hijacking their important events
Training them to take sides
Putting them in the middle
Using them as a confidant
Burdening them with adult problems
Exposing them to conflict
Taking away the carefree, innocence that children have a right to
WHY DOES IT HAPPEN?
To demonstrate the negative consequence of action you don’t like
To exert power over someone who make you feel powerless
To hurt something dear to someone who you feel has hurt
HOW PEOPLE MIGHT JUSTIFY IT
Well she left me and it hurt. I feel so miserable
This is his mess and I’m buggered if I am going to clear it up
I didn’t want this its all her fault
I told you the children would be badly affected and look they are
She chose not to be here so she needn’t think she is having it all.
WHY IS IT A RIDICULOUS NOTION?
Children used in this way are having a miserable childhood
Children who are treated in this way will grow up to be adults who will judge this behaviour unfavourably
Children used in this way may develop self-esteem, communication and trust issues
Children used in this way may grow up to be screwed up adults.
Behaving like this will not make you feel good
This behaviour is not consistent with good parenting
Behaving like this will not make anything better, rather radically worse.
By doing this you are jeopardising your relationship with the children now and in the future
Accept in the cold light of day that this is not only madness but cruel
UNDERSTAND THE HARM IT DOES
Children are extremely observant, they notice and don’t forget and how you behave even in difficult situations. They will grow up and be in no doubt about who rose above the situation, who tried to make life easy and helped them to deal with it.
