Visits are important top tips for improving visits and helping them to work
Organise a schedule of who’s going where way in advance and put it up for all to see.
Plan your visits.
Make visits meaningful, with time for parent and children to be alone together to talk etc..
Make sure that visits are not all about entertaining them but about being a parent too e.g. do homework and, for example, as they get older let them bring a friend.
Talk about your child’s life with the other parent, but beware of crossing the line between healthy interest and cross-examination!
Spend some time at hand-over with the other parent to ease transition, preferably to discuss accomplishments or worries that you can both share or work on. If it's still very hard then have another adult present to make sure that everyone behaves like grown-ups and to reduce the tension.
Don’t make it possible for the child to undermine or manipulate visits.
Both parents must stand firm on the importance of visits.
Help the live-away parent by telling them what the childen like and ideas for making the visits better from their perspective. As you live with the children all the time you'll be able to give useful advice to your ex (just don't forget that you're not trying to make your ex the parent you'd like them to be, but a parent the children are happy with)
When the child returns home be interested in the visit, let them tell you about the visit just as you would if they had spent time say with their grandparents or a friend.
Be pleased for them if they have had a great time and let them know that you have had a good time too.
|
