We’ve taken heart from those who came to single parenthood from rock bottom and have been able to turn the corner and see the light, however faint, at the end of the tunnel. Here are some personal stories…

I had become part of Jake’s problem: smoothing over the frayed tempers, mending the broken doors. I was making a soft landing for him every time he could no longer stand. Sometimes I feel intensely angry with Jake that, when forced to choose between alcohol and his family, he has chosen the former. I tried to make him stop drinking, but I’m starting to see that while I was powerless to control his life, I am not powerless over my own. Sometimes in the mornings I feel completely overwhelmed by the future. But I feel excited too, and even grateful for the exhausting, rich variety, the experience, that marriage to Jake has given me.’ Isabella Lyne

Fiona Bruce’s best friend was in an abusive marriage with small children. She was her shoulder to cry on and her confidante. What did she learn? ‘Mostly I’d just listen and try tactfully to show her that there were choices. Once I went in too hard and she told me to back off. That was an abject lesson for me in learning to respond in a way that would help her to feel better, rather than making myself feel better by doing what I thought was ‘constructive’’

Fiona’s best friend Louise says: ‘It took me a long time to get in touch with Refuge because I didn’t feel it had any thing to offer that was relevant to me – I had enough money, I had friends, I wasn’t about to go into a refuge and I didn’t want to waste their time. It’s only now that I realise how ridiculous that was – Refuge counsellors have experience of women suffering abuse in alls orts of situations and can offer support from a place of understanding. Somebody to talk to, someone to keep you in the real world, who can try to convince and reassure you that ‘it’s not your fault’ is a great help’