Suitable accomodation

My Husband left 11 weeks ago for another woman he was having an affair with at work (for a whole 6 weeks). My boys of 6 & 9 see him every Sunday. This week I have allowed her to be introduced to them - as my husband seemed likely to do it behind my back if i didn't consent. He is trying to move things forward very quickly and wants them to begin staying over during the summer - i feel this is way too soon and after discussing their accomodation I am now very doubtful. They live 45 mins away in her 1 bed flat - they intend to let the boys share their double bedroom whilst they have the sofa. Apart from the fact that they won't sleep as one figets /snores at night, or they might catch them at it - i don't feel that this is a proper solution.
As this is still early days I feel that every Sunday is still the best option and will allow them to go to visit her flat once they have adjusted to her being present every sunday.
Am I being reasonable ?

Categories:

Contact / Financial Arrangements

I think you're being pretty

Submitted by emily on Fri, 2009-07-10 21:41.

I think you're being pretty reasonable asit is alot for the children to get used to so quickly and Sunday's for the next couple of months or so may be the best option, but really the advantage of slowing it down is for your ex's and his new girlfriend's sake as the children need time to catch up (it'll take more than 2 months to catch up but they also need more time with their dad if they can). I suggest you talk about it with their dad and decide on a plan. I suggest that the idea of staying over gets talked about so that they get used to the idea and look forward to it as you need to sell it to them as a fun / nice thing to do. As for them having to share a bed and fidgeting etc, don;t worry about that, it's out of your control, jsut tell your ex you're worried that they might not sleep so can he keep an eye on it and perhaps if it is a problem, one can be on a lilo or camp bed and the other in a bed? There are always ways round it, but it's oyur ex's probelm to sort out as it'll be happening on his watch and you can;t not let them stay over because of it. As for catching them at it - I'd say you're finding reasons to say no becuase you don;t like the situation - I struggle to think of any one who fancies being 'at it' on a sofa in a one bedroom flat with 2 restless young children next door - it's only a night a week!! He's their DAD - trust him to be a good dad. Good luck, Emily PS then go and enjoy your night off!!!