It’s time to focus on you.

When was the last time you really focused on yourself? For so many of us, life has taken unexpected turns, events have overtaken us and though we’re managing to ‘get by’, we can’t remember a time when our focus was on ourselves. Sound familiar? Following whatever major change or upheaval you have experienced, maybe now you feel ready to move ahead with your life. You may feel that it is time to increase the positive influences around you, increase your social network or focus on new healthy relationships. Whatever the reason, it is time to focus on you.

My situation may be different from many as I made the conscience decision to bring up my son in a lone parent house hold. The woman leaving the man, I had to leave the family home, find elsewhere to live etc etc it was all very role reversal. There were no other people involved, it was based purely on the fact that I was deeply deeply unhappy and had to make a positive step to change where my life was heading. I knew my happiness would directly affect my son’s happiness and vise versa. What I found out during this transitional phase in my life and that is exactly what it was when I look back at it now, i morphed into what it was I needed to be and so changed the way i worked, thought, lived and acted to accommodate this new and sometimes overwhelming responsibility in life. I went through an incredibly dark period whilst on that journey and suffered with depression, very low self esteem and my confidence suffered for a while. But I did come out the other side, more positive, a little bruised maybe, a lot lot stronger and with a well balanced child who has two parents who love him dearly. I’m definitely wiser and of course the reason for it all, so much happier in life.

Bringing harmony to divorce

Authors: James Stewart is a partner of Manches LLP and Charlotte Bradley a partner of Kingsley Napley. They were two of the first solicitors in this jurisdiction to train as collaborative lawyers

BREAKING up is never easy and, no matter how the breakdown arises, litigation over the terms of the separation will make things even more difficult. Sir Paul McCartney’s divorce from Lady McCartney demonstrates the most extreme example of an acrimonious break-up. However, the publicity obscures that, throughout the UK, family lawyers and separating couples are striving to reduce acrimony in divorce. Resolution, an organisation of almost 5,000 family solicitors, has actively sought to ensure that family law disputes are dealt with in a way designed to preserve people’s dignity and to encourage agreement. Resolution also encourages the use of dispute resolution methods other than litigation, such as mediation and collaborative law (www.resolution.org.uk).

Dear Kate & Emily,

Jane Smith (nee Dubowzigernustbust)

Dear Jane,

Just like you, many women want to revert back to their maiden name. This can be accomplished in one of two ways: by Deed Poll, or by using your decree absolute and marriage certificate. It is sometimes possible for a divorced woman to revert to her maiden name without the need for a Deed Poll if her decree absolute certificate and marriage certificate (which shows her maiden name) are accepted as documentary evidence of her change of name. Upon presentation of these certificates most government departments, and many companies and organisations, will change their records to show the woman's maiden name. However, some companies and organisations will not accept a decree absolute, in particular the financial institutions such as banks and building societies. So, my top tip is to get it covered NOW and go for the deed poll. It’s quick and easy to do by going to the country’s biggest and best www.deedpoll.org

This article has been written for us by Sarah Budibent, a solicitor specialising in probate law.

Making a Will does not sound like fun, so it can easily end up being another job to put off for another day, like filling in your tax return and checking up on your pension.

Yet, most people would say that what happens to their family or their property after their death is hugely important to them and, without a Will, decisions about who will inherit and how much will be made according to fixed rules of law. The result may be far from what they would have wished or intended.

If you make a Will, you can decide exactly what you want done with your property after your death; you appoint personal representatives to carry out your wishes and guardians for your children; you can express wishes about the disposal of your body and you may also be able to save your beneficiaries from paying unnecessary tax.