I separated from my ex 18 months ago after 13 years which was always pretty up and down. We are both much happier now and though he claims to feel very depressed sometimes about the situ he appears to have moved on with ease, finding a new girlfriend within weeks of the separation and enjoying his new life without all the family responsibility. I have managed (mostly)to stay on civil terms with him for the sake of our wonderful boys who are now 5 and a half and almost 3. They adore him and he sees them tues and thurs after work and does baths etc and has them a full day every weekend. My problem is that he used to take them swimming, to the park, football and stuff but now never makes any plans for them.

Can i ask your advice? My husband has recently started seeing a woman who apparently is very religious. I always went to Sunday school as a child and although I am not religious I am a member of the church of Scotland. My ex has never been religious however and we decided when our son was born to let him make up his own mind re his beliefs when he was older. Now, as his new girlfriend goes to church (he wont tell me the denomination and simply tells me its a Christian church - i beleive its Evangelist or Baptist) hes started taking our son to Sunday school there. I've said that I would rather he didnt go but he says when son is with him he will go as he is going.

My 13 year relationship ended 1 and 1/2 years ago. I have two beautiful children aged 9 and 2 1/2. Towards the end of the relationship I suffered a lot of emotional abuse and occassional physical. My ex left for another woman who he has now proposed to marry.I am beginning to get over the sense of bitterness and disappointment that things will not be as I expected. My children see him regularly - every other weekend and once in the week. More recently he has begun to have them overnight as he now has a place that he can do this. He recently became aggressive and threatened to take me to court if he is not able to have more access.

Hi Kate

How do I cope with an ex who denied our child, abandoned us, refused support, married someone else, had another child with her and now after nearly a decade years wants to start building bridges.

He was cruel and heartless and his apologies just make me feel worse as they bring everything back. how dare he have more children when he has never even met our dautghter ?

Louise

Hi Louise

You let it happen because you know deep down it is the right thing to do for your daughter and you cope by letting the past go not forgiving not forgetting but looking forward and being the hero in all this . It is incredibly difficult and you have done the right thing all along but for your daughters sake and to be honest your own sake you need to find a way of letting this very important bridge be built

Please help. My ex is a policeman and works shifts. He gives me a rota at the beginning of the year which tells me when hes working what shift. Then every month I ask him to put on the calendar when he wants to have our son to stay over. Every month we go through this process and I would guarantee that every month there will be a change to some of the arrangements because hes taken on some overtime or has some other plans. We also take turns taking our son to school, when ex is working I'll take him and when hes off he takes him. But this again is open to change as I might think at the beginning of the week hes taking him on say Tues, Wed and Thurs to find he can only take him on Tue and Wed.