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Using Children as Weapons

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Come on where's your pride? We all know this is a horrid, low and destructive way to behave. It's hard not to, so reading this might just give elp you to get a grip of your moral fibre and rise above such skullduggery (if that's how you spell it?!)

HOW CHILDREN ARE USED AS AMMUNITION

  • Hijacking their important events
  • Training them to take sides
  • Putting them in the middle
  • Using them as a confidant
  • Burdening them with adult problems
  • Exposing them to conflict
  • Taking away the carefree, innocence that children have a right to

WHY DOES IT HAPPEN?

  • To demonstrate the negative consequence of action you don’t like
  • To exert power over someone who make you feel powerless
  • To hurt something dear to someone who you feel has hurt

HOW PEOPLE MIGHT JUSTIFY IT

  • Well she left me and it hurt. I feel so miserable
  • This is his mess and I’m buggered if I am going to clear it up
  • I didn’t want this its all her fault
  • I told you the children would be badly affected and look they are
  • She chose not to be here so she needn’t think she is having it all.

WHY IS IT A RIDICULOUS NOTION?

  • Children used in this way are having a miserable childhood
  • Children who are treated in this way will grow up to be adults who will judge this behaviour unfavourably
  • Children used in this way may develop self-esteem, communication and trust issues
  • Children used in this way may grow up to be screwed up adults.
  • Behaving like this will not make you feel good
  • This behaviour is not consistent with good parenting
  • Behaving like this will not make anything better, rather radically worse.
  • By doing this you are jeopardising your relationship with the children now and in the future
  • Accept in the cold light of day that this is not only madness but cruel

UNDERSTAND THE HARM IT DOES

Children are extremely observant, they notice and don’t forget and how you behave even in difficult situations. They will grow up and be in no doubt about who rose above the situation, who tried to make life easy and helped them to deal with it.

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